I'm tired of the bars and want to try some online sites to meet guys. I've not had much luck with them in the past. Are there any secrets to being successful in online dating?
-JW
It's not so much a secret as it is how you approach it. Think of your online personals ad or profile as an advertisement for you as a product. Think about how products are pitched to you and what kinds of things make you want to run out and buy the product.
Firstly, you'll need a picture. There is no reason whatsoever for you not to have a picture on your profile. Period. Go back and read that again. Many (if not most) sites have the ability to filter out ads without pictures when doing a search. If you don't have a pic, the odds are pretty good that your ad will not get seen by very many guys. Yes, I understand that some folks need to be discrete and can't show their face on such a site, but a shot of a guy whose face is partially obscured by the brim of a cowboy hat or a ballcap can be sexy as hell. Nothing wrong with a little mystery, after all. Clear, closeup shots are best.
If the site allows multiple pics, then fill the gallery with interesting stuff. Maybe yourself in front of a landmark you've seen or doing a hobby that you find interesting. These things lead to insight about yourself and give prospective suitors something to break the ice with... "I like the pic of you at Folsom. I went there several years ago and had a ball."
If you want to include naked shots, then ONE pic of your cock will suffice. Nobody needs 14 shots of your pecker taken from different angles, unless you've got it tattoo'd and need that many shots to see all the detail. Oh, and ass shots are fine if you've got a nice one, but don't grab your cheeks and spread 'em for the camera. You're not being inspected for contraband, you're trying to snag a hot man.
Now, the text of your ad: for the love of God, people... write in complete sentences and use spellcheck. If a guy has to decipher your ad to figure out what the fuck you're saying, he's likely to lose interest. Punctuation is important. Capital letters are important. You can say the wrong thing without meaning to... for instance, there's a huge difference between "Fuckin' A, dude!" and "Fuckin' a dude!" Also note that WHEN YOU USE ALL CAPS it means you're shouting.
The main thing, though, is to be honest about yourself. How many times have you bought something and got it home only to find that it didn't work like you expected or it didn't look anything like the picture on the box? Those frozen dinners always look sooooooo good on the cover, don't they? When you make one, though, the experience always seems a little disappointing even if the food itself is plenty tasty. It's a matter of expectations vs reality. Going back to the picture - if you post a photo of yourself that's 15 yrs old and you look nothing like that anymore - you've set yourself up for failure. The very first impression you're going to give the guy is "I'm insecure about my age and/or appearance and I don't mind lying to you about it to get you in the door." The same is true for what you say about yourself. If you've got a 5" cock, don't describe yourself as "hung." It's quite likely that your suitor doesn't really give a rat's ass how big your cock is anyway, but if that "hung" quote nabs you a size queen, then he's only going to be disappointed when he sees it.
Point out your good qualities in your profile and don't apologize for those things that you consider flaws. Most of those "flaws" are things that other guys might find attractive, so if you say "I've got a weight problem, but I'm dieting" then you've insulted the tastes off all the chubby chasers who might read your profile. Say instead, "I'm a bear, but working on becoming an otter" or something like that. If you don't know what your good qualities are, then ask your friends. They're your friends for a reason, after all, and they obviously like you. Ask them why.
There are some things that DO need to be mentioned, even if they might filter out some folks. Stuff like disabilities, married, erectile dysfunction, being poz, etc. The reason is not that these are bad things or "flaws" but they are the kinds of things that could be a deciding factor in whether or not a guy wants to hook up with you. It's much better for both of you if they know this up front and make a decision as to whether or not it's an issue for them before they contact you and potentially waste time for both of you. You don't want to be the human equivalent of the Blackberry Playbook tablet computer... advertises itself as "the professional grade tablet" and then when you get it home, you find out that it doesn't do email.
Last but not least: save something for the guys to discover about you. YES, put your most interesting tidbits in the ad, but leave things generalized enough for guys to contact you and ask questions and then discover some of the good stuff.
Online personals are a mixed bag. There are some really great guys out there (I found my sub online) and some real losers as well. How you present yourself in your profile will go a long way toward which camp you'll be put into when a hot man reads your ad.
Daddy
