Today is Wacky Hair Day at preschool.

She told me last week that this is how she wanted her hair.

As the mother of a 3.5-year-old girl, I totally identified with this rant over at Crazy Like A Fox. It is not a Mommy Blog and there is plenty of salty language, so be warned before you go there if you don't like that.

Anyway, the gist is that she was in Wal-Mart and a 4-ish year old child was throwing a tantrum that could be heard across the store while mom was oblivious and shopped and dad talked on his cell phone. The ranting is more about the parents being rude and not even trying to control the child and not attacking parenting skills in general. I started posting a comment, which turned into my own rant/post.

We are probably the luckiest parents in America, Arcadia really is an angel when it comes to tantrums, having only had probably three full-blown episodes in her life and two of them were at home. I have left stores or either her father or I have taken her to the bathroom, outside or home when her behavior in a store became dicey. There are many times that we simply do not go to the store because she is already pissy - like on the way home from school, or close to bed time. We pay attention to her mood and try to head off putting her in a position to throw a tantrum, even if it is inconvenient for us - many times we have taken her home and put her to bed and one or the other has made a separate trip to the store or the gas station or whatever because we knew her mood would not allow her to be a good girl.

I think a lot of parents who say they can't help the misbehavior in public places could help by paying more attention to the kid's mood and trying to head her off at the pass and stop the frustration level from ever advancing far enough that a tantrum happens.

True, it is not always possible and I believe there are children with behavior problems or behavior disorders that need special handling, but generally brattiness with mom and dad on the phone or just not paying attention is inexcusable. I call it the "Dakota Madison syndrome."

The daughter is gouging her brother's eyes out with a garden tool that the parent does not even intend to buy. The boy is screaming bloody murder enough to shatter all of the glass in Housewares and mom is fingering a sweater/scarf/canteloupe murmuring repeatedly "Madison, we don't hit our brother. Dakota, we use our inside voices." Meanwhile, she never even glances at the kids or the other perturbed shoppers staring at the scene.

Now I am not claiming to be mother of the year, but I pay attention to my child and try to be considerate of other people in church, stores or malls or even family and friends' homes. I figure if I am annoyed by the tantrum and it is my flesh and blood doing it, then other people who don't have kids, don't like kids or just have a headache certainly must be annoyed.

In addition, I think by showing my daughter that misbehavior will not be tolerated and she will be the one removed from the social situation I am teaching her a lesson in thinking about how people around her react to her behavior.

That said, I have a child with a pretty level and easy personality who usually responds to being punished one or two times. I totally feel the pain of parents of normal or even spirited kids. I am one of six, I have nine nieces and nephews and a million younger cousins - I KNOW how lucky I am and it scares me to death to even think about having a second who might be more fiery tempered.

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This post ties in with another post I made back in September about Dr. Harvey Karp's Happiest Toddler on the Block book - which has been my saving grace more than once when I wanted to just LEAVE Arcadia at Wal-Mart in someone else's basket ;)

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I am supposed to get my new blog design on Monday, so look for big changes and easier readability. I loved the mock ups I saw and can't wait to get it active.